Legacy
Today, I’ve listened to loads of my music collection as I’ve been working, and most of them I couldn’t tell you what they were right now, but there’s one that’s really gotten me thinking.
It’s by Nicole Nordeman, and it’s an album I’ve had for a couple of years but the first line of the song really made me think in relation to stuff that’s been going on recently. The line is “I don’t mind if you’ve got something nice to say about me“. I (like lots of other people I would guess) find it really tempting to not mind so much what negative things people say about me as long as there are others being nice to and about me! This is a situation that’s occurred recently and I realised today that my thinking has been pretty much along those lines which is totally wrong because I am becoming the centre of it all!
Nicole’s last words sum it up pretty well I think: “ I don’t have to look too far or too long awhile, To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy, It’s an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile , Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy , Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred , Just want to hear instead, “Well Done” good and faithful one…“.”
It’s like the old “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me”, except for the fact that names can indeed hurt us (a lot!) and it’s the fact that names don’t matter that’s important. What matters is hearing “ Well Done good and faithful one…” for fixing my eyes on Jesus and not wavering even when it’s so tempting! That has to be our motives for doing all things, not the praise we may get from “the world” because that won’t last – it’ll rot away. Others are important in encouraging us to keep going but it can not be their words alone that cause us to keep going, otherwise we are doing it merely for flattery!
Now there are issues of reconciliation and forgiveness involved here, and of course we must forgive those who have hurt us (even before they ask for it!) and must seek to be reconciled – but we do this because we are relationship with the God of the Universe and not because we want to leave a great legacy that screams in years to come “How great was s/he!”, but we want them to realise how great He is!
Ultimately I want to be one who “ hang[s] my hat on more besides the temporary trappings of this world” and constantly points to the one who made all things!
Here’s the full lyrics of the song:
I don’t mind if you’ve got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who’s who and so-n-so’s that used to be the best
At such’n’such … it wouldn’t matter muchI won’t lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an ‘Atta boy’ or ‘Atta girl’
But in the end I’d like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this worldI want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacyI don’t have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It’s an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroyNot well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, “Well Done” good and faithful one…
Light in the World
This morning at church we looked at Matthew 5:14-16:
14″You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Bonnet, the pastor of Brethern in Christ church that shares Ferndales building was speaking and it was brilliant. He explored so many ways in which we are called to be light in this world! |The one that really struck me however was about ‘Doing the Unusual’.
He made the point that we often as Christians ‘do the usual’, so do what other people do. Do what is culturally acceptable. And we do! This links into conversations I’ve had friends this week to do with Halloween and how we as Christians should celebrate it. i.e. do we totally avoid any dealings with it, or make a value judgment depending on what it is we’re doing. e.g. spending time with non Christian friends which has some Halloween content such as pumpkin carving and dressing up? I think I’d tend towards to the second but can understand why people would go for the first because we are called to be children of light . . .
But back to this morning, Bonnet gave the example of Desmond Tutu’s conversion which really struck me. Desmond grew up in South Africa during the apartheid so was used to the fact that he had to give white people the right of way whilst walking. According to wikipedia (not the most reliable of sources but pretty accurate this time I think) the story is as follows:
“One day”, said Tutu, “I was standing in the street with my mother when a white man in a priest’s clothing walked past. As he passed us he took off his hat to my mother. I couldn’t believe my eyes — a white man who greeted a black working class woman!”
This white priest did the unusual! He looked beyond the cultural norms and loved his neighbour, even though it would have been seen as awful.
This felt like such a challenge!
What I’ve been doing . . .
So, thought I’d update what I’ve been doing (as that was partly the aim of the blog to begin with!)
The first half term has flown by! I can not believe that it is November tomorrow!! It is madness! I’ve really been enjoying doing things for a second time though. One of the frustrations about being in Lancaster for just a year was that I felt I was just getting to build relationships and then I left. That’s even more true in church life I’ve discovered as relationships take a lot longer to build than in the student context. If I’d left Essex after a year, I would have been really sad I think, even though staying isn’t always all that easy!
Has made me think about the importance of relationship building in churches and how they don’t just happen overnight most of the time, but really do need investing in. It’s definitely giving me food for thought in terms of thinking about next year.
So, this week has been half term and for one reason and another I’ve been able to spend it with
people I’ve not seen in varying lengths of time which was such a blessing! I managed to explore a bit of Southend that I hadn’t been to before and found the most amazing independent coffee shop – I’ve been feeling for a while that Southend is missing one! What made it so amazing was partially the old fashioned amazing room it’s in and partially (possibly more so . . ) was tea from a proper old fashioned tea pot with loose tea leaves! Awesome! Also, tried cockles for the first time (well they are a local delicacy . . . ) but I didn’t actually try them . . the reactions of my friends who did was enough to put me off! Touching them was bad enough!
I discovered that Canvey Island (known locally for not being the best place) is quite pretty at sunset and that some shop names in Leigh try to sum up stereotypical Essex (see below)!!
The end of the week, I got to travel North (though that meant too much time on the M1 with a sign telling me there was a queue caution 45 minutes after I had been in it and gone 3 miles! Ironic!), sadly not as north as I would have like but to Leicester to see my lovely school friends 
Next week, I’m off the Lindisfarne with the leadership team at church which I’m really looking forward to . . . will update after that!
Marvellous Moldova 2009
Ok, so last week I got dragged up the front of church with no notice to report on my trip to Moldova earlier this year (I got home 3 months ago now!). If I wanted I could list a whole list of reasons (excuses) as why I’ve not told that many people about the trip. . . . instead . . . here’s my report!! Which after writing I realise is quite long . . . feel free to skip to the end where I say what I learnt!
So, Moldova has been and gone. This years experience was so different to last years in so many ways, but one thing stayed exactly the same - God worked amazingly and shown His grace in ways I’d never thought about before!
There’s so much I want to write about, but I don’t think there’s space or time to do so! There’s so much overflowing from my mind about the trip so here’s some of it . .
As we left . .
I was really torn about whether or not I really wanted to be going (true but majorly suprising I know!). There was a lot of things in the UK that had consumed my every minute for weeks and was feeling that there’d be no way that I would be able to focus on the mission trip without being distracted. Loads of doubts about being good enough also managed to creep in! Meeting the team in Luton and preparing to fly out put some of these at rest though, through other people and being reminded over and over of grace!
When we arrived . .
Orientation took up the first week of our stay and we were staying in a lovely Church near the centre of Chisnau, which also is home to a Christian school (with nice dorms!).
The hospitality we received those first few days was immense. CSC (Moldovan UCCF) staff had arranged between them to cook all of our meals even though it meant sacrificially early starts and late nights for most of them to travel to where we were staying. Also, it meant that we got amazing Moldovan food! The sessions in orientation were all geared towards loving one another and working as a team. There was so much I learnt that week, including yet another reminder that God doesn’t get his address wrong! The reason I was on the trip was because God wanted me there! Towards the end of Orientation, although things at home still preoccupied my mind, I genuinely was feeling refreshed and way up for camp! I’d been reminded of so many gospel truths that are too easy to allow to slip away and been able to chat and pray things through with people and been reminded of the privilege that it is to be in Christian work!
Just before camp . .
The day that we left for camp we were informed that we had to visit the doctors for a Polio test. This turned out to not be totally accurate and sadly the tests weren’t all that nice for some of the team. This experience was tough and painful, but turned out to be in so many ways, good. Issues relating to previous things were able to be talked about and prayed about and the post Soviet culture became more real to us. We’d been aware that as it was pre election time (round 2) things were difficult for Christians and students and that other Christian camps had been closed down by the authorities, so in a way we were a little prepared for something to happen, but not for something to occur that would affect some of us as individuals.
Camp . .
So, the team that arrived on camp was a broken, hurting team and yet I was amazed by the way in which they all get totally stuck in! Although there was every reason to not be as a whole hearted on one hand, the team chose to be whole hearted for the same reasons and because of their commitment to the gospel! The first morning of camp was when I saw “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15) lived out like never before, and that really set the camp tone in some ways,people being sensitive and speaking the gospel wisely!
The brokenness of the British team was apparent in many ways to the Moldovans, so much so that one of them said to me towards the end of the trip, that although she’d been involved in many camps before, knew as a Christian that no-one is totally sorted, she’d this year seen that was true of the British team. Previous years she’d seen the team as being “sorted” (wrongly!) but this year she realised that being Western didn’t make us anymore sorted in God’s eyes!
Camp revolved around English lessons, which we taught ever morning for a hour and a half . . . . I’d love to say the time flew by, but my lovely group did their best to make sure that it didn’t! They weren’t easy but I am quite fond of them now! English lessons are the main attraction for many of the Moldovan students that come along, which is why so much time, energy and preparation goes into them. Also, they’re great for building relationships!
We also did bible studies every morning which was great! We went through “The world we all want” by Tim Chester and Steve Timmis. It really is a great course, it had been adapted for our use as there is no way we could have done the normal one as it contains a lot of scripture (a great thing, but a real hindrance when you are doing a bible study in English, and the native language of those participating is Romanian or Russian or other with very varied English fluency levels!). Opening the bible for yourself is quite a novel idea for a lot of Moldovan students so studying it came as a huge shock to some! Having an opinion and voicing it is also novel!
I didn’t have my own bible study on camp this year which made the whole camp experience really different. It meant that I got to spend time with loads of different people on camp which I enjoyed, especially praying with some of CSC women. But, it was definitely strange! Amazingly, the one girl that I managed to spend a lot of time having gospel conversations with was a girl called Alina! Now, Alina and I had history! She had been in my group last year and had pretty much been a nightmare as a group member. It was really interesting to catch up with her and see the ways in which she had changed and had become so much more open to the gospel since last summer! She’d attended so many CSC events throughout the year that she’d failed her year at Uni but was asking some great questions (a great reminder that CSC continues without the Brits!)
During the camp four people made a commitment to Christ for the first time which was so exciting!
Post Camp . . .
We had four or five days left at the end of the camp before we were flying back to the UK. We spent in debrief, allowing people to talk and pray out what had happened pre camp and
really immersing ourselves in scripture which was a real joy!
We also had the ‘traditional’ UCCF and CSC day of fun! This year we got to go the Soroca in the north of Moldova and wave across the river to the Ukraine (something I was highly excited about!).
What did God teach me . . .
The simple answer is loads, the more detailed (but not full answer!) is here:
- That He is God wherever I am and therefore nothing is out of His control even when it really seems like it
- That the prayers and encouragement of fellow Christians really makes a difference (even when they are in a different country!) Receiving texts and mega long phone calls that will have been very expensive for them, just to encourage me was amazing and really showed true fellowship.
- God will provide! Due to a human error, we’d started the trip financially on the edge . . . . we left Moldova being able to leave CSC a significant amount of money AND offer our team a refund!
- God guides and leads – many times, it seemed we were following in the dark, but He guided us, provided the right people in the right places to help
- We can pray and rely on God for all our needs!
- I love mission!!
My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me
We’ve been going through a DVD series on the History of Christianity on Sunday evenings for the last three weeks which I’ve found really interesting, although it is a little biased in places!!
Last Sunday we did the Reformation which was extra interesting for me., as I’d studied it in A Level History but never from a Christian perspective.
What really struck me was in connection to Martin Luther, and the fact that when he read “My God My God why have you forsaken me” he clearly identified with it, being a young man in a monastery feeling that although he had done everything to make himself nothing (freezing himself, praying for hours on end etc) to please God and still felt like God was a million miles away from him.
It’s how Jesus felt on the cross, but he was quoting a psalm when he said it (Psalm 22) which led me to the realisation that it isn’t wrong to feel this way! The bible clearly expects that we will feel like this from time to time! What freedom, to know that feeling that way isn’t wrong – in fact God has given us emotions. The “wrongness” comes in when it leads us to sin. So, I feel like God has abandoned me so it’s ok for me to ignore him, to not love other people sacrificially etc. Actually, it’s the opposite. If I’ve learnt one thing over recent months it’s that our feelings aren’t always right! So, although I feel that God has forsaken me, I know that he hasn’t and that as the old Relay motto goes “God is still God and the gospel is still true” no matter how I am feeling at any given point.
I’ve been really blessed to have friends reminding me of this over the last few weeks, and although it feels like an uphill struggle at times, the truth of the gospel is no less true and there is someone who totally gets it! Jesus! They are the very words he uttered on the cross (Matthew 27:45-46). Our Saviour gets it! He knows the pain because he’s been there! And, best of all – because of his suffering on the cross we can come to God even when we don’t feel he’s there!
Amazing! And, it shows church history is relevant!!!
“This world has got to be hell”
The title of this blog is a direct quote from one of the guys on the Alpha course I am running with local 16-25’s at the YMCA.
We were looking at the question of “Why did Jesus die” and got on to discussing sin and what is actually is then to heaven and hell.
His argument (which makes a lot of sense if you misunderstand sin!) is as follows:
“Jesus died on the cross over 2000 years ago for sin and yet now in 2009 there is still rapes, murders etc so what did it actually do? Surely nothing, and therefore the world in which we live now is actually hell and heaven is to come.”
It makes a lot of sense! We were then able to talk about a load of these issues, and agree that this world is awful and hurtful (bear in mind that many in this group have seen the worst that the world has to offer). The gospel seemed ultra amazing spoken into these broken lives. The goodness of the gospel and the ability to mend brokeness.
The idea that Jesus died to take sin away is an interesting one. If that’s the case then of course Jesus failed (as a certain chart song released this week says – Robbie Williams Bodies. Have a read of Peter Dray’s blog on that). It’s the idea that Jesus was paying a price that most shocked the group. That sin was serious enough to have a price, death. One guy in the group, who is lovely and nice and thoughtful and considerate etc, was genuinely shocked by the revelation that he was as much a sinner as anyone else!
Being able to point them to the cross and the truth of what happened there was such a privilege! (especially as the goodness of the gospel was a reminder I desperately needed that night!). And seems that exciting things are happening!
The amazing Old Testament
At church bible study last night, we were continuing our look at Jesus by seeing him through the Old Testament. I thought this would be more reminding me of things I already knew that penny dropping moments . .. but although I already understood some of the significance of Genesis 15 and God’s covenant with Abraham, there was a major penny dropping moment last night!
10 Abram brought all these to him, cut them in two and arranged the halves opposite each other; the birds, however, he did not cut in half. 11 Then birds of prey came down on the carcasses, but Abram drove them away.
17 When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces
So, this is the making of the covenant in a way which was the norm in Abrams days. Some animals would be slaughtered and then both parties would pass through the animals that had been cut into two with the significance that if either party failed to fulfil their part they could expect to become like the animals.
What’s interesting here is verse 17. The original readers wouldn’t have had any problem with the rest of what’s going on here because it is the normal way in which things happen. But, it’s meant to be the two parties walking through the slaughtered animals . . but verse 17 says that it’s a smoking firepot and a blazing torch. Weird huh? Well, it is until you factor in that the sign of God and his presence in the Old Testament is fire! Here we have two signs of God, so in essence God is acting on behalf of both parties.
This is my penny dropping moment though . . . If God is passing through on behalf of both parties, then God is taking responsibilty for potential future failure on both sides! So although the covenant is between Abram and the LORD, it is the LORD and the LORD who are confirming it. Therefore it is the LORD himself who must suffer for future failure by Abram and his descendants. And how will Abram and his descendants fail . . .. by sinning, therefore the LORD will take the punishment for sin for Abram and his descendants! What a clear link to Jesus and the cross. It’s amazing to see that God has outlined his plan for salvation even in the making of the promise itself!
I knew that there were loads of foretelling of Jesus in the Old Testament, but I guess I thought I knew the main ones and that others that I didn’t know weren’t so exciting . . well clearly that’s not the case! The Old Testament is amazing and so crucial in our salvation story!
Praise God for the depth that the gospel runs to!
Jesus
It’s been a while since I wrote, but I promise there is an update coming soon!
But, just been listening to a sermon on Isaiah 42 by Mike Cain this afternoon and thought I’d share some of the joy!
It’s simple but is so easily forgotten (especially by me) when things are hard, when the Christian life requires you perserve more than you ever want to or feel able to that we have a Saviour in Jesus. I get so tempted to box things and not to take all things to him, but Jesus is God’s ‘One true Servant’, the perfect one who allows us to come to the creator of the Universe. He is the one that brings justice and comfort. All of this was so refreshing to be reminded of but what really struck me was a simple illustration:
“if we’d fallen down a hole, then we need someone who isn’t in the hole to come and rescue us.”
It’s one i’ve heard before, but the reminder that there is someone who can come to us when we feel that there is no-one who understands reminded me of just how loving our God is, and how we are far from alone and how stupid it is to not have my eyes fixed on Jesus when he is the perfector of my faith.
I feel so much like a bruised reed at the moment, feeble and unable to continue, and yet this amazing passage has reminded me that although there are many things wrong with this world, Jesus, the One perfect Servant came to be our rescuer before he came to be our judge, which will happen one day. He came full of grace which I don’t deserve but he came anyway!
Praise be to God!
Final Moldova Prayer Requests
So here it is …. the final week!
14th July
Please continue to pray for the ongoing bible studies that the non Christian Moldovans students would be saved. Please also for inter team relations that relationships have been built up between the British and Moldova students. Please pray particularly for Lauren and Andrew S today.
15th July
The last day of camp! English students are heading home with Moldovan students over night! Pray for opportunities with the Moldovans, and the British students would really enjoy the time they have to see real ‘Moldova’. Please pray especially for Nathan and Jo, two British team members.
16th July
team reunited! All the British team meet back in Chisinau with the Moldovans that they have been staying with. We will enjoy a meal out together – a very rare treat for the Moldovans. Please pray for final opportunities with the Moldovans and for time to relax.
17th July
Today we have a Bible study in the morning, focusing on ‘Dwelling in God’s Word’ followed by Team Time debrief with time to explore Chisinau. Pray for time the team to reflect on camp, to see how they have grown and time to spend alone with God.
18th July
We have another team bible study in the morning and then we are off for a day out with the CSC staff! Please pray for encouragement of the CSC staff having fellow workers in the gospel around. Please pray for the continued work of CSC in Moldova as well as rest and relaxation for all of us.
19th July
We are visiting a local evangelical church this morning and will begin the (long!) journey home this afternoon. Please pray that we would be an encouragement to local evangelical Christians. Also pray for unity in the team as we have a long overnight mini bus journey to Bucharest (around 12 hours). Please pray for our safety.
20th July
We will arrive in Bucharest sometime in the morning and then we will have a short time in Bucharest before catching the plane to Luton, departing at 5pm and landing at 7.30pm UK time. Please pray for safety of people and luggage, rest for the next couple of days for the team members and that the team would spend time with God back in the UK.
Blogging from Moldova
So, I’m currently sat in my bedroom on camp, using a mobile internet – technology is amazing! Today is day 7 of camp and it has been really exciting. I’ll post more in deatil when I get back to the UK, but it is really exciting to see how one girl on the camp today has become a Christian and how many others are really seeming to count the cost! Exciting
This set in a context where Christians are appearing to get a hard time from the Government at the moment is even more exciting! (I’m quite excited . . .!)
There’s so much i’ve learnt and been seriously challenged on already this trip but ive not got time to go into it save to say that the gospel and God are so much bigger than I realised and that God is the God of all comfort and that joy is acheivable whatever situations you are in and that God is amazing in His plans!
I would say im off to sunbathe during my free time but sadly it is chucking it down . . . almost like being back in lancaster!!!
There may be another update before I get back but no promises!
